Back to the Background

When R went away to college, he started looking for a church to belong to. He was raised going to church with his grandparents. I believe they were Methodist. In college he attended several churches, including the Mormon church. When he met M, she was Catholic. He started attending church with her and eventually became a Catholic.

I was raised Baptist. When I met R, we didn't go to church together much. In fact, in college I didn't go to church much. But I knew being a Catholic was very important to him. When we decided to get married, we talked about my becoming Catholic. I didn't promise to become Catholic, but I promised to study it. We were married in August 1971 in a Protestant chapel by a Protestant minister. He didn't push for a Catholic marriage then, but he did later. But after we were married, I started going to mass with him and starting taking instruction from our local priest. In October 1972 our first daughter was born. On November 19, 1972 I joined the Catholic church, then we were married in a Catholic ceremony and then our daughter was baptized. One right after the other. And, remember this, my sponsor, our marriage witness and our daughter's godmother were all the same person--M's best friend and former roommate.

We were in mediation for the divorce and R hit me with a bombshell. He said that he was in a car accident when he was in college ( that is true). But then he said he had a head injury and he got amnesia and he "forgot where she was". The implication is that if he remembered where she was, he would never have married me. This is preposterous. As I said before, I lived right down the hall from several of her best friends. He could have asked them anytime he came to see me. As I also said in the previous paragraph, her best friend was at our Catholic ceremony. Why would he have married me with her best friend present if he really wanted to marry her? Now, this is a man who rewrites history when it serves his purpose, but this is taking it to the extreme! I was speechless when he brought that out at mediation. It didn't make any difference there. Unfortunately, I received word this week that he has petitioned the Catholic church for an annulment. I'm afraid if he can sell his amnesia baloney, he just might win. This petition has devastated some of our kids. I've worked very hard to keep the kids (even though they are all adults) out of this and to not say bad things about their father. Sometimes it is really, really hard! But, two of the girls in particular, are taking this very personally.